Funny 70th birthday jokes

Jokes about 70-year-olds. 1. Wife’s 70 th birthday joke. Funny joke about John’s wife turning 70. John gifted his wife a coffin for her 70 th birthday. When she turned 71, she asked, “What are you gifting me this year?”. John replied, “but you haven’t used the one I gave you last year.”. Prev 1 of 5 Next.

A cat-alog. If you’re going to take a nap at this age, let me know. I don’t want to bury you by accident. What do you say to a bunny on its birthday? Hoppy birthday to …Happy birthday to my sister, the arch enemy of my life, the kryptonite to my superpowers, the mouse to my elephant, the thorn in my side. Happy bday, sister. This year I decided to use the occasion of your birthday to show how I truly feel about you, so there’s a restraining order stapled to your card.They say that laughter is the best medicine, so it’s a good idea to have a few jokes on hand whenever you need to cheer someone up. With cute, funny, short jokes, you can turn someone’s mood around in a matter of seconds.A: Have a fin-tastic day. Vintage Birthday Jokes You know you're getting old when you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. Birthday Cake Visit Q: Why did the birthday cake visit the psychologist? A: Because it was feeling crumby.You’re like a fine piece of cheese – the older you get, the more you smell, but people still love you. Happy birthday! Don’t worry, [insert age] isn’t so bad. It’s just a little closer to [insert age plus 20]. …

They say that laughter is the best medicine, so it’s a good idea to have a few jokes on hand whenever you need to cheer someone up. With cute, funny, short jokes, you can turn someone’s mood around in a matter of seconds.Here are funny 80th birthday sayings and quotes for a friend or loved one who is turning 80 years old. You can use these sayings and quotes in a card, in a toast, as part of a poem, or as part of a speech. #1 Enjoy the time when you can actually predict the weather with your knees. We all envy you for that, trust me. There are 80 years of experience right here.May 26, 2023 · Jokes about 70-year-olds. 1. Wife’s 70 th birthday joke. Funny joke about John’s wife turning 70. John gifted his wife a coffin for her 70 th birthday. When she turned 71, she asked, “What are you gifting me this year?”. John replied, “but you haven’t used the one I gave you last year.”. Prev 1 of 5 Next. It's from holding your stomach in. You know you are old when people tell you how good you look. You know you are old when almost everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You know you are old when the candles cost more than the cake. You know you are old when you tell people you are retro. For his 70th birthday, one of his students gave the zen master a big box with a ribbon around it. When the master opened the box, he found that there was nothing inside. "Aha," he exclaimed, "just what I wanted!" upvote downvote report. A big list of 70th birthday jokes! 9 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!1. Why didn’t anyone say happy birthday to the owl? Because it didn’t give a hoot. 2. Did you know that birthdays are good for your health? It’s a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays...Happy birthday jokes in hindi: एक दोस्त दुसरे से : भाई तुम्हारी आँखे क्यों सूजी है. दूसरा दोस्त: कल मेरी बीवी का बर्थडे था. पहला दोस्त: तो क्या हुआ. दूसरा ...

Keep that smile. Keep going the mile. You're young at heart. Even if you have more farts. Funny Birthday Poems. We all age, and for some of us, it is not a problem. But for others, aging is a big deal. You can find more poems on aging to share with others. Happy Birthday Don't Be Blue. Funny Birthday Card With Humour -Cheeky Joke Birthday Card for Mum Mother Sister Aunt Aunty Grandma Friend 40th 50th 60th 70th Birthday Card (6.1k) $ 4.45Mar 23, 2022 · 1. Why didn’t anyone say happy birthday to the owl? Because it didn’t give a hoot. 2. Did you know that birthdays are good for your health? It’s a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays... It Took Me 70 Years To Look This Good Mens Adult Unisex T-Shirt Tee Milestone Birthday Celebration Funny Novelty Gift 70th. (8.5k) £9.89. £10.99 (10% off) FREE UK delivery. Seven-tea! Funny 70th Birthday T Shirt - Funny 70th Gift For Tea Lovers.I'm so excited to bring all of you these funny greeting cards from Camilla & Rose! Our customers in the shop absolutely love them and I have a feeling all ...

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Good Gift. Henry was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. “I’ll never understand women” said Henry. “The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.” “Wow! That’s quite some gift” said the bartender. “So why are you so ...২৩ জানু, ২০২৩ ... Funny birthday jokes make getting older more fun! Whether you're looking for a funny joke to write in a birthday card or a happy birthday ...It's your birthday! I hope you shellibrate! Happy Birthday, stud muffin. Don't worry. I would never baguette your birthday. A lentil older, a lentil wiser. Another birthday has creped up on you…. Hap-pea birthday! To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to follow us on Instagram!12282015 Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a womans age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. And the man answers but you havent used the one I gave you last year. Mark Twains 70th Birthday Speech.

You’re like a fine piece of cheese – the older you get, the more you smell, but people still love you. Happy birthday! Don’t worry, [insert age] isn’t so bad. It’s just a little closer to [insert age plus 20]. …80th birthday jokes. Photo courtesy of You Can Be Funny. It's all good! An 80th birthday joke is a great way to poke a little fun at age. Why turning eighty is a good thing. . . You can hide your own Easter eggs. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. Kidnappers have very little interest in you. No one views you as a hypochondriac.Funny 69th sixty nine birthday greeting card his her funny mum dad 1954 70th men women grandad grandma nan important notice joke. (304) £3.99. 70! How The F**K Did That Happen Card - 70 Card - 70th Birthday Card - Funny Birthday - Joke Birthday Card - Seventieth Birthday Card. (781) £3.95. FREE UK delivery. Here are some 70th funny birthday card messages: 70 and still rocking, just a bit more gently! 70 is the new 50… in Celsius! Age 70: where ‘getting lucky’ means finding your glasses. 70 years young and …1: You tell them that you went to the museum, saw dinosaur bones, and thought of them. 2: For their birthday you offer to help them blow out the candles. 3: On their birthday you tell the fire department that if they see a large fire, not to water it down because soggy moist cake is no good.Happy birthday to the coworker with the world’s greatest coworker. 7. Happy birthday! You’re one day closer to retirement. 8. Happy birthday to the only coworker I want to hang out with outside of work. 9. Happy birthday, coworker. You’re the only reason I’m still at this job.Jan 23, 2023 · Funny birthday jokes make getting older more fun! Whether you're looking for a funny joke to write in a birthday card or a happy birthday joke to add humor to a party, this list is... Catchy 70th Birthday Phrases Keeping up with a girl like you was always hard, and now that you’re turning 70, I’m still in your dust, happy 70th... Don’t think of it like you’re already 70, but that you’re only 70 years old. Thank you for all the happiness we have...It would be so much easier to get you the perfect birthday gift if you'd just buy one yourself. Happy birthday! Smart, good-looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday! An amazing watch, a sexy outfit, a souvenir cap, or the latest PS2 game—I was wondering what I could buy you for your birthday. Don't get too excited, though. Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. Customize one of these funny . Send funny cards to your loved ones and friends to make their birthdays even more memorable.Funny 69th sixty nine birthday greeting card his her funny mum dad 1954 70th men women grandad grandma nan important notice joke. (304) £3.99. 70! How The F**K Did That Happen Card - 70 Card - 70th Birthday Card - Funny Birthday - Joke Birthday Card - Seventieth Birthday Card. (781) £3.95. FREE UK delivery.Catchy 70th Birthday Phrases Keeping up with a girl like you was always hard, and now that you’re turning 70, I’m still in your dust, happy 70th... Don’t think of it like you’re already 70, but that you’re only 70 years old. Thank you for all the happiness we have...

GIFTSFARM Funny 70th Birthday Card, 70 Birthday Card for Women Men, Birthday Card Decorations Gift for Him or Her Turning 70 Years Old (5 x 7 Inch Birthday Card with Kraft Envelope) 19. 300+ bought in past month. $599. FREE delivery Sun, Oct 15 on $35 of items shipped by Amazon. Or fastest delivery Thu, Oct 12.

It’s an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn’t had a birthday in seven years. Robert Orben. The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. Oliver Wendell Holmes. I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called hunting for your spectacles. Edward Grey.It would be so much easier to get you the perfect birthday gift if you'd just buy one yourself. Happy birthday! Smart, good-looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday! An amazing watch, a sexy outfit, a souvenir cap, or the latest PS2 game—I was wondering what I could buy you for your birthday. Don't get too excited, though. Funny 70th Birthday Shirts & Gifts For Men Women So Happy Today Funny 70th Jokes 70 Birthday Throw Pillow, 16x16, Multicolor. 1 offer from $19.99. Galaxy S10 So Happy I'm 70 Today Funny 70th Birthday Jokes 70 Birthday Case. 1 offer from $17.99.Silver and black with gold accents are colors for an elegant 70th birthday, while green, yellow and red are colors for a more laid-back 70th birthday. Rose pink and cream are birthday colors for a woman’s 70th birthday, and navy and gold ma...Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.”. – Tom Stoppard. “The first 60 years of childhood are always the hardest!”. – Unknown. “The advantage of being 60 years old is that you’ve had a chance to accumulate a lot of happy memories. The disadvantage is that your hard drive is getting full!”. Aug 3, 2022 · 60 means being carefree… just a little more forgetful. You can't regret what you can't remember. 60 is beauty. Vintage beauty. 60 means embracing the good life. And more naps. Turning 60 is just a new chapter in a long book. 60 means seeing the world differently… through glasses. 60 is like a great meal. Funny birthday jokes, even those from the always optimistic Jerry Seinfield, add the most important ingredients to any birthday: laughter, fun and frivolity. Birthday jokes are like birthday cakes and gifts – must haves. So along with the best birthday gifts, make sure you have the best funny birthday jokes by choosing from the selection ...For his 70th birthday, one of his students gave the zen master a big box with a ribbon around it. When the master opened the box, he found that there was nothing inside. "Aha," he exclaimed, "just what I wanted!" upvote downvote report. A big list of 70th birthday jokes! 9 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!Funny Birthday Card With Humour -Cheeky Joke Birthday Card for Mum Mother Sister Aunt Aunty Grandma Friend 40th 50th 60th 70th Birthday Card (6.1k) $ 4.45It's from holding your stomach in. You know you are old when people tell you how good you look. You know you are old when almost everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You know you are old when the candles cost more than the cake. You know you are old when you tell people you are retro.

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Perfect for birthday jokes or just funny old people jokes targeting those who are too feeble to hit back, these cards feature hilarious gags and funny illustrations that are big enough to see without squinting too hard. Whether you're looking for 80 year old birthday quotes or turning 90 years old poems, you'll find plenty of food for thought ...From funny birthday sayings to bday jokes about cakes, candles, presents and everything in between, make the birthday girl or boy's day even more fun by picking out one of these 100...To say happy birthday to a golfer, you can use golf-themed wishes or puns. Here are a few ideas: 1. “Wishing you a hole-in-one kind of birthday! May your day be filled with birdies and eagles!”. 2. “Happy birthday! May your swings be smooth, putts be accurate, and your scorecard is full of pars and birdies!”. 3.Jun 7, 2022 · Birthday Jokes are my newest collection of funny jokes for kids of all ages, including some Birthday puns! Funny Birthday Jokes are just a few of my joke collections here at Skip to My Lou! So, you’ve heard it said that laughter is the best medicine and I firmly believe in that kind of medicine! For more groans and giggles, try these joke ... ২৩ মার্চ, ২০২২ ... These funny birthday jokes will make their big day that much more special. Write these hilarious one liners in their birthday card or use a ...Funny 70th Birthday Jokes • Funny birthday jokes Quotes – At the age Not many people to keep me day! “Happy 70th birthday!” • Happy 23rd Birthday beginnings. of age, you're doing well 70th birthday card. Enjoy your special says, Ever! happens in it, relish their new gray. At 70 yearsList of 22 Birthday Knock Knock Jokes. Discover our hilarious collection of knock-knock jokes about birthdays! Celebrate with our birthday knock-knock jokes, sure to entertain children, teens, and adults. Unwrap the gift of laughter with these comical quips, making every day feel like your special day. Ready to laugh until it's your birthday ...Birthday memes have become increasingly popular in recent years to wish friends and loved ones a happy birthday. However, some birthday memes can be considered inappropriate due to their graphic or obscene nature. While there is nothing inherently wrong with birthday memes, it is essential to be mindful of their content before sending them to ... ….

Funny 70th Birthday Card – Hilarious 70 Years Old Anniversary Card – Happy 70th Birthday Card – Hilarious 70th Birthday Card for Lovers or Friend – Red A Envelope (One Card) 91. 100+ bought in past month. $899. FREE delivery Sat, Oct 7 on $35 of items shipped by Amazon. Or fastest delivery Wed, Oct 4.Mark Twain's 70th Birthday Speech. ELL, if I made that joke, it is the best one I ever made, and it is in the prettiest language, too. I never can get quite to that height. But I appreciate that joke, and I shall remember it -- and I shall use it when occasion requires. I have had a great many birthdays in my time.For his 70th birthday, one of his students gave the zen master a big box with a ribbon around it. When the master opened the box, he found that there was nothing inside. "Aha," he exclaimed, "just what I wanted!" upvote downvote report. A big list of 70th birthday jokes! 9 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! One morning, Roger is reminded by his secretary that it his wife’s 70th birthday. At lunch, Roger goes to the local shopping mall and tries to find a gift for her. Upon passing a lingerie store, Roger realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and ...Senior Citizen Jokes:"Highway Driving". As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's urgent voice warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!”. "Hell!" said Herman, "It's not just one car.Jokes about 70-year-olds. 1. Wife’s 70 th birthday joke. Funny joke about John’s wife turning 70. John gifted his wife a coffin for her 70 th birthday. When she turned 71, she asked, “What are you gifting me this year?”. John replied, “but you haven’t used the one I gave you last year.”. Prev 1 of 5 Next.To wish somebody a happy birthday in Gaelic, all you need to say is "La Breithe Shona Dhuit!" (Law breh-ha shun-ah ditch) Or in other words: "Happy Birthday to You!" Funny Irish Birthday Blessings. One humorous way to toast somebody having a birthday is to refer to age and health. But make sure you choose the moment wisely! Here are some …May 11, 2021 · The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. H. V. Prochnow. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. Lucille Ball. The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. Henry L. Mencken. 70th Birthday Sayings for Dad . When your dad turns 70, you can use a quote or saying to let him know how special his birthday is to you. Choose a quote to …It is often said that laughing can extend your life; hence, we have some of the best jokes about 70-year-olds. Download these jokes for free and share them with … Funny 70th birthday jokes, [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1]